Hey Reno

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Sun, 27 May 2012 12:26:31 -0700

I wonder if Daniel Radcliffe imagines himself as Harry when he reads the books.

Sun, 27 May 2012 12:04:00 -0700

totally-relatable:

Sat, 26 May 2012 23:43:48 -0700

ilovesquidward: LIFE

Sat, 26 May 2012 16:43:10 -0700

ilovesquidward:

LIFE

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Fri, 25 May 2012 16:28:09 -0700

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Thu, 24 May 2012 23:29:10 -0700

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.

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Thu, 24 May 2012 19:12:17 -0700

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Thu, 24 May 2012 13:30:42 -0700

simpledisneythings: Kuzco is my favorite Disney Princess.

Wed, 23 May 2012 20:58:52 -0700

simpledisneythings:

Kuzco is my favorite Disney Princess.

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Tue, 22 May 2012 13:48:01 -0700

thatsoratchet: i am ready to find my soulmate so i made a profile on okcupid.com

Sun, 20 May 2012 21:03:14 -0700

thatsoratchet:

i am ready to find my soulmate so i made a profile on okcupid.com

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Sat, 19 May 2012 18:33:29 -0700

megustamemes: Call me maybe

Fri, 18 May 2012 21:34:38 -0700

megustamemes:

Call me maybe

fat-birds: pleatedjeans: parrot plays mommy [video] I CAN’T

Thu, 17 May 2012 17:33:51 -0700

fat-birds:

pleatedjeans:

parrot plays mommy [video]

I CAN’T

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Wed, 16 May 2012 12:07:38 -0700

youmovedmekurt: So, I was trying to text my friend to “stay strong”. I accidentally typed “stay...

Sun, 13 May 2012 20:01:16 -0700

youmovedmekurt:

So, I was trying to text my friend to “stay strong”.

I accidentally typed “stay strog”.

And it autocorrected to “stay stroganoff”.

I just told my sad friend to remain a Russian dish of sautéed beef.

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Thu, 10 May 2012 19:08:19 -0700

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Thu, 10 May 2012 12:56:27 -0700

ababyhamster: itscalledazoo: loonylunalovegood97: clockworksex...

Tue, 08 May 2012 17:23:23 -0700

ababyhamster:

itscalledazoo:

loonylunalovegood97:

clockworksexual:

iwoulddeduceyoutwice:

sugarkitteh:

bigbangpunch:

BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:

1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE

2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A

3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE

4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS

5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT

6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD

****

EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS

TAKE OFF FIRE

WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH

CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL

WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES

POUR IT OUT

ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL ~~VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE~~

DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE

CHEERS MATE

CANADIAN VERSION

WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?

OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS

NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.

USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!

SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL

EAT SOME BACON

THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.

DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.

TAKE A SIP.

SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.

REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.

AMERICAN VERSION

FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)

FILL IT WITH TAP WATER

ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER

STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN

DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET

POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE

REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT

ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS

AMERICAN VERSION PART2

GRAB A DAMN MUG

FILL WITH TAP WATER

PUT THAT SHIT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR ABOUT 1 OR 2 MINUTES CAUSE YOU’RE TOO PUSSY TO DRINK BOILING HOT DRINKS AND TOO LAZY TO USE THE STOVE

GRAB WHATEVER SHITTY-ASS TEA BAG YOU HAVE, EVEN IF IT’S IT THAT DAMN LIPTON LEMON TEA AND SHOVE IT IN

ADD A SHITLOAD OF SUGAR

POUR SOME COLD-ASS MILK, MAKING YOUR SHITTY TEA EVEN LESS WARM

DRINK THAT SHIT

FORGET YOU MADE IT

FIND IT AGAIN AND DRINK THAT COLD-ASS PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL TEA

AMERICAN VERSION 3

ACQUIRE TEA

THROW IT IN BOSTON HARBOR

THROW IT IN THE BOSTON HARBOUR

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Tue, 08 May 2012 13:33:40 -0700